Category: COVID-19

Kiss it Goodbye

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The youth of today, and for this discussion, this includes anyone who’s never held their favorite music in their hand (album, 8-track, cassette, CD), don’t understand how recorded music was appreciated in the time before the internet and streaming. I grew up in the age of mixtapes which involved recording songs from the radio (remember radio?) with the deft dexterity of a neurosurgeon. And…hit…..Play AND Record at the same moment! Who didn’t feel like Casey Casum when they nailed it?

My musical education is partly due to the Columbia House ten cassettes for a penny club we badgered our parents into joining. Research and hard decisions in my youth involved selecting my three-item allotment from Columbia House and being honest on my MLB All-Star selection ballot (and not voting for every Cincinnati Red nominated).  I mention music because one of the few albums we had growing up was Hotel California by the Eagles. To be fair, my parents also had Rubber Soul and Led Zeppelin IV on vinyl and Sgt Pepper on 8-track. My sister was/is an Eagles fanatic (along with a certifiably insane Keith Richards fanboy). I can’t tell you how many times we listened to Hotel California. One of the songs I loved was The Last Resort. Being born and raised in Rhode Island, I was thrilled that music royalty was singing about my home, Rhode Island. And because I knew the immigrant stories of my family and those of most families I knew, the song’s opening verse touched me:

She came from Providence

One in Rhode Island

Where the old world shadows hang

Heavy in the air

The song, written by Glen Frey and Don Henley, describes man’s ugly takeover of nature’s pristine beauty. Specifically, California, and the migration of people searching for a new beginning in a “new” land.

She packed her hopes and dreams

Like a refugee

Just as her father came across the sea

She heard about a place

People were smiling

They spoke about the red man’s way

And how they loved the land

            They came from everywhere

To the Great Divide

Seeking a place to stand

Or a place to hide

Word spreads about such places, and the throngs of people descend on it like locusts eating everything in their path.

Down in the crowded bars

Out for a good time

Can’t wait to tell you all

What it’s like up there

They called it paradise

I don’t know why

Somebody laid the mountains low

While the town got high

And this migration, like wildfire, doesn’t stop until it hits the ocean.

Then the chilly winds blew down

Across the desert

Through the canyons of the coast

To the Malibu

Where the pretty people play

Hungry for power

To light their neon way

Give them things to do

Some rich men came and raped the land

Nobody caught ’em

Put up a bunch of ugly boxes

And Jesus people bought ’em

And they called it paradise

The place to be

They watched the hazy sun

Sinking in the sea

And here’s where the story becomes painful. In the age before the internet and before you had lyrics to every song seconds away on your cell phone, we sang what we heard or misheard. The internet is filled with videos of people singing incorrect lyrics. Yes, it’s funny now! But before you could access the lyrics, you heard what you heard and belted it out as best you could. The next two verses always confused me. I should say I felt stupid not understanding what they were referencing. I assumed “La Hina” was a town in California. It wasn’t until years later that I learned Lahaina is a town on the island of Maui in Hawaii.

You can leave it all behind

Sail to Lahaina

Just like the missionaries did

So many years ago

They even brought a neon sign

“Jesus is coming”

Brought the white man’s burden down

Brought the white man’s reign

Before COVID-19 shut down society, and before masks and vaccines began to pull those who cared about their families and neighbors out of the pandemic abyss, my wife and I went on our honeymoon to Hawaii. We stayed in Oahu and Maui. We rented a Jeep Wrangler on Maui and, on our last day, drove across the island to Lahaina. I wanted a picture of a sign with Lahaina on it to send to my sister, an ode to our childhood listening to the Eagles. We walked Front Street, marveled at the city block-sized banyan tree, bought cookies at the Honolulu Cookie Company store, shopped at the Outlets of Maui, and ate dinner as the sun sank into the sea at the Waikiki Brewing Company. As we sat there waiting for dinner to be served, across the street, we saw the most incredible sunset I’ve ever seen.

I grew up in a tourist town, Newport, RI. And as much as I hated the traffic and the crowds of pretty people, I also knew their money was the economy’s lifeblood. When I heard about the wildfires whipping across Hawaii, and first heard Lahaina mentioned, I could only hope the town would be spared. The pandemic was savage to many industries, with tourism among the hardest hit. In addition to the catastrophic human toll the virus exacted, we all know of restaurants and stores that also did not survive. To have a wildfire threaten the fragile economy of Lahaina seemed as cruel as it was unfair. And then I saw the photos.

Nothing of what I remember exists any longer. It’s all gone. As of this writing, eighty people have lost their lives, with more expected as homes reduced to ash are searched. Front Street is a warzone of burned-out cars beside the mangled remains of homes and businesses. The banyan tree was scorched and may not survive. The Honolulu Cookie Company, the Outlets of Maui, and the Waikiki Brewing Company not only burned to the ground, but with the utter devastation and destroyed infrastructure, people do not yet know if their friends and coworkers survived. My heart breaks for everyone there. Hell came to Lahaina this week and took everything.

Climate change is real. Humans as a contributing factor is undeniable. Warnings of tipping points have been ignored. Water temperatures in the Gulf of Mexico exceed 100 degrees in some areas. We have had the hottest weather ever recorded, worldwide. And yet, we continue to ignore the issue and marvel at the consequences with willful ignorance and feigned confusion.

The last four verses of the song, without mentioning it, describe climate change and our greedy abdication of responsibility. However, instead of a coastline, when you read these last verses below, consider they are singing about planet Earth.

Who will provide the grand design?

What is yours and what is mine?

‘Cause there is no more new frontier

We have got to make it here

We satisfy our endless needs

And justify our bloody deeds

In the name of destiny

And in the name of God

And you can see them there

On Sunday morning

Stand up and sing about

What it’s like up there

They call it paradise

I don’t know why

You call someplace paradise

Kiss it goodbye

There are no new frontiers. We have got to make it here.

Or kiss it goodbye.

Pointillism Polemics

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Isolation became as much a pandemic as the COVID-19 virus that caused it. And the social paradigm shift left in its long wake continues to affect millions of people. Social pastimes such as going to the movies, going out to dinner, visiting friends and relatives, comedy clubs, concerts, art shows, vacations to amusement parks and bucket-list cities all foundered. And like the millions of virus victims, many of these venues and pastimes did not survive.

We were left to entertain ourselves at home. And some of us did this better than others. The American Journal of Emergency Medicine said domestic violence cases increased by 25% and 33% globally, with an increase in the United States by over 8%. In my house, crafts replaced excursions. It began when my daughter, Samantha, came to my house wearing a stylish three-ply mask she fashioned from a curtain. In what might have been a humorous episode of a sitcom (you fill in the blank), she proceeded to sew another mask at the dining room table while watching me try to do the same with her guidance. Ultimately, my finished product was less fashionable and (probably) less effective. Still, I wore it to the grocery store until better masks were readily available. I still have it. 

And then there were the crafts. Let me back up. Pointillism is a method of painting developed by Georges Seurat and others in 1886. It is an offshoot of the impressionists (Monet, Manet, Cassatt, Degas, Pissarro, Renoir, and Cezanne). In pointillism, artists use dots of paint to form images. It was the precursor to pixels on televisions, monitors, and cell phones. Seurat’s most famous painting is A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. 

Incidentally, my son Cameron and daughter Samantha saw the 2017 revival of the Sondheim penned Sunday in the Park with George musical on Broadway; itself a fascinating statement on art, artists, people, humanity, and human interaction as the painting comes alive before the audience. Little did we know how human interaction would be a recipe for a lethal worldwide pandemic just three short years later. Ironically, Johnson & Johnson, supplier of one of the COVID-19 vaccines, was created in the same 1886 that Georges Surat created pointillism. Pfizer was formed in 1849. Thanks, Google.

Art proved to be the salve for my family and me. And as a corollary to my last post, art proved once again to forestall being lost. This time, while writing continued to provide me a venue to consolidate my disparate thoughts, “dipping dots” consumed our time and provided hours of entertainment (and a few sore necks!). Of course, they are not called “dipping dots.” Those are the frozen pebbles of ice cream found at hockey games and stadiums. I refer to the tiny, colorful plastic dots (or squares) on a sticky canvas.

 

My wife (and sometimes my two stepdaughters (although typically, they would start a project and we would finish it)) saw these projects devour hundreds of hours of quarantine and isolation during the pandemic. I also know every word to every pop song played on the radio over the last 50 years as we listened to these songs on a loop while working our dipping dots. These craft projects (I differentiate here between creating (art) and producing (crafts) so as not to offend artists who create original works) were terrific distractions from the horror of the pandemic and the schism of politics.

Both mindless and intoxicating, these projects consumed us. We couldn’t wait to finish working for the day so we could “dip dots.” Maybe it was a consequence of the work we each do. My wife works for an insurance company and spends most of her days in meetings. I live in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets, deep in the weeds of cells and formulas. Although we both work from home (I have worked exclusively from home since moving back to Rhode Island in 2016 while she was new to the concept, as were millions of others affected by the coronavirus), there was no tangible evidence of our daily efforts. She ends the call; I close the file. There is nothing to see, nothing to hold up as real progress or something that will exist beyond the next call or following report. Dipping Dots projects checked that box. It exists today, tomorrow, and always as a physical manifestation of effort.

Again, to create is to exist and to endure. Tiny plastic dots, pixels, or pointillism gave me a productive outlet during a worldwide pandemic and many enjoyable hours with my family. These are but a few of the many projects we completed during the lockdown. They were good times in an awful time, centering and fun while the world spun off its axis.

Thanks!

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Got your gift. Thank you!

COVID-19 has been a delight. I know 1,065,076 Americans have died, and 96,940,217 Americans have had the virus, but your rights! You first; the rest of us can die. That’s the sentiment, right? My body, my choice (unless it’s a woman and her uterus). 

I work from home and have had the two primary shots and two boosters. I’ve done everything I was supposed to. I mitigated my exposure and watched with horror as other Americans (true Patriots) sneered at having to wear a mask and “chose” not to get the vaccine. I honestly thought I was one of the finalists for those who never got COVID-19. Seriously, I thought there was a prize! Not just my health, but, like, money or a trophy! The pandemic is over (I’ve been told). And then my wife had to travel. Masks are for losers! And how are those wearing masks supposed to eat their complimentary snack and beverage onboard while wearing a mask? So we drop our masks, take a sip, and put them back on. Nibble a snack quickly and put on our masks. Meanwhile, Mr. Libertarian next to her dribbles his drink and eats his snack like he’s never seen a Cheez-It before. 

But here I am, COVID-19 positive again! Yes, I had the virus last week, and when my blood oxygen level dropped, my doctor decided I was a good candidate for the emergency use authorized antiviral, Paxlovid. Unfortunately, the Paxlovid knocked the virus down but not out. And I, like many others, two to eight days after completing our 5-day regimen of Paxlovid, suffer something called COVID-19 Rebound. Because it did not destroy the virus, once the regimen is over, the remaining virus cells begin replicating until you eventually test positive. 

After the first time I tested positive, I asked my wife when I could express my anger at having to get the coronavirus this far into the (now over) pandemic. I am convinced that if everyone had done what they were supposed to – wear a mask and get the damn shot(s), this would all be in the rearview mirror, a devastating pandemic about which we would all be proud of conquering. She said to ride it out, and the symptoms probably wouldn’t be severe because of the shots and boosters we had gotten. She was right. The symptoms (apart from the dip in blood oxygen) were akin to a head cold. And not the worst head cold I’ve ever had. 

But now I have rebounded into positive territory again. Now I’m pissed. Now I’m ready to kick anyone’s ass who had the selfish gall to refuse to wear a mask during the height of the first wave(s) and the self-entitled bullshit they spewed to refuse the vaccine. Science gave us the answer to the problem. Unfortunately, those whose med school training consists of InfoWars silver supplements, bleach, and injecting light into their body have left us vulnerable. This shit should be over. But, no, the armchair epidemiologists and selfish pricks who decided a mask was an infringement on their right to be an asshole and the vaccine was a global conspiracy involving Jewish space lasers and magnetism have dragged this virus (and all of the mutations that would never have been able to get a footing if we had dealt with this correctly as a community, as a nation, into today.

So, again, I’d like to thank the assholes who decided their right to individual stupidity overrode my right not to get this damn virus. Someone said freedom without responsibility isn’t freedom; it’s adolescence. We owe an apology to adolescents. Let’s be honest. Freedom without responsibility is America.

When Does MY Freedom Count?

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Land of the free because of the brave. Can we edit this to be land of the susceptible because of the selfish?

Sixty-six percent of Americans are fully vaccinated. Two-thirds of us. Another 6% “plan to get vaccinated.” Not sure what kind of schedule these people have that they couldn’t possibly squeeze a 2-second shot into their lives (to save their lives). Another 8% are “uncertain.” I have no idea how someone can be uncertain in the face of a global pandemic. The remaining 20% are “unwilling” to be vaccinated. Fully one-fifth of us are unwilling to be vaccinated to end this pandemic. And the overwhelming reason given by these armchair physicians who have done their own “research” is personal freedom.

By way of comparison, look at the chart below to see how American exceptionalism is an oxymoron:

While Putin wants to return Russia to the “glory” of the 1970’s Soviet Empire, Republicans in America wish to return antebellum American “glory.”

 Science, medicine, and fact dictate that the coronavirus is real. It’s not something you can “believe in” like the Easter bunny. It’s real, and it has killed almost 800,000 Americans. However, all of us who have done what common sense and common decency dictated (socially distance, wear a mask, get vaccinated, get boosted) are still stuck in an America paralyzed by the virus. I have a question for MAGA nitwits, what about my freedom? When (If) this ever ends, I don’t get to reset the clock and get these two/three/x number of years back. I’ll only be this age once. What about MY freedoms? When do I get to start living a “normal” life (defined as pre-COVID-19)?

I did what was right. I wear a mask more to protect those unvaccinated and vulnerable than to defend myself. Some people (immunocompromised (many chemotherapy patients)) cannot get the vaccine. The others, the 20% “unwilling” to get the vaccine, are infringing upon my freedoms. The three unalienable rights enunciated in the Declaration of Independence are “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” This is not a prescription for freedom without responsibility or accountability. And while MAGA nitwits will consider this communism or socialism, what I do impacts my neighbors. What I do affects my neighbor’s inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If I do not get vaccinated, if I do not wear a mask at the grocery store, or socially distance, I may sacrifice my neighbor’s happiness, liberty, and life. Eight hundred thousand of us are no longer here to attest to this fact.

66% of us are fully vaccinated. A two-thirds majority. Nowhere near where it should be if we were all considerate and had a modicum of either dignity or common sense, but a majority. Where is the wave of anger among us, people who have done everything demanded and still living in an America paralyzed by COVID-19? Omicron is easily transmissible and less lethal. The subsequent mutations, the following variant may not be. It may be far more lethal. And it will only exist because there are enough unvaccinated people to allow the wild virus time to mutate. Enough idiots are waving their lack of concern (cloaked as “freedom”) to enable the virus to change itself enough to survive.

My freedoms should count. The freedom of 66% of us should matter. It should matter more than 20% of Americans, the steely-eyed cowboys staring down the wimpy virus, evangelicals convinced the virus is Satan’s test, conspiracy theorists convinced injecting sunlight or bleach will protect him (instead of getting the magnetic, tracker-enabled vaccine), or Republicans (including on the Supreme Court) working nonstop to prevent Biden/Democrats from leading us out of this pandemic). However, until we rise, the vocal, imbecilic minority will continue to hold the rest of us hostage, destined to live in an America subject to thousands of deaths per day, endless variants, and time evaporating from all of our lives.

When does my freedom count?

Dolphin News

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“We’re number one! Pretense is gone; the humans are gone.”

Atlantic Ocean- It became official this afternoon with the death of Byron Chase, the eleven-year-old from Middletown, Rhode Island. Dolphins are the apex of intelligence on planet Earth. Following millennia of dominance (and arrogance), humans became extinct today. Famous for their technological advances and equally noted for their ferocity, humans perished in the relative flick of a flipper following their mishandling of the coronavirus.

Before official celebrations begin, let us take a moment to recount the passing of humans. The coronavirus started in 2019 and quickly spread to an unsuspecting populace, racing around the globe ignoring human governmental delineation lines or, as they called them, “countries.” As air breathers, humans found that the virus spread through particulate exhaled through their dual respiratory system of nose and mouth from one human to another. Their most educated in medicine and science determined fabric placed in front of these orifices would reduce the expectorant sprayed. However, it quickly became evident that a significant portion of the population decided their “internet” research, and graduation from the “school of hard knocks” placed them on par with the physicians and scientists. Unfortunately, this misstep began the fatal infection and death toll culminating in the loss of young Mr. Chase.

When physicians and scientists created a vaccine to save humanity, only a portion of them chose to receive the gift. Remote areas or areas without the infrastructure to distribute vaccines could not be protected. In affluent “countries” (especially the United States), a portion of their populace simply chose not to become inoculated, leading to the rapid progression of virus variants. These mutations rapidly spread throughout the unvaccinated populations leading the strained medical system to collapse.

The execution of Anthony Fauci, MD, in January of 2022, following the rise of Republicans and their control of both the House of Representatives and the United States Senate in the midterm elections, tripped the switch for so many in the medical field. His court conviction of “treason,” as read out by new Speaker of the House (and former President) Donald J. Trump led swiftly to Fauci’s execution on pay-per-view television on Fox News on the National Mall (and sponsored by Trump 2024, the Republican National Committee, and Brandon Funeral Home and Crematorium).

Immediately after this telecast, seemingly overnight, physicians, nurses, scientists, and hospital staff failed to show up to work, their homes abandoned, and their cars were gone. No record of them was ever found. There have long been rumors of them escaping to an Ayn Randian panacea of intellectuals. However, any enclaves discovered were quickly shut down and merged with those in hospital intensive care wards. Forced to live among the unvaccinated and infected, the professional staff and their families, without the protection of masks or air filtration of any kind, saw their ranks dwindle and succumb to the virus.

It appears that most of the unvaccinated, despite cognitive awareness (and mirrors), were unaware of the two methods of respiration. Countless depictions were seen in grocery stores, airports, and even hospitals, of humans begrudgingly wearing a mask somewhat over their mouth but hanging well below their noses. It remains a mystery how all humans did not understand the basics of tidal breathing.

The collapse of the medical system accelerated the demise of humans in late 2022 with the rise of the newest variant. No longer following the Greek alphabet to name variants, because, as Speaker Trump said, “This is America, and that’s all Greek to me,” the new variant was simply called the Newest-er China (Jina) Virus.

Manufacturers could no longer produce vaccine boosters with the elimination of physicians and scientists, and there was no one left to administer them. Chief Medical Officer Joe Rogan declared vaccines unnecessary because he believed that getting (and surviving) the virus gave you better protection. It was never fully explained how, in a chicken and the egg scenario, one was to be protected from the virus before contracting it if one had to contract it to be protected. Mr. Rogan died shortly after that when a dumbbell crushed his skull while exercising in his garage.

You will recall Vice President Ted Cruz and Secretary of Health and Some Human Services Rand Paul held the great mask burning bonfire on the National Mall leading to the conflagration that burned most of downtown Washington, DC. It was then, with most of the congress choking on the smoldering smoke, that democrats met to decide whether to create an online petition to discuss thinking about maybe considering a proclamation to create a list of possible strongly worded Tweets. However, it was ultimately killed, both by the passing of most democrats to the virus and then-Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia, who said, “The use of certain words being considered in the possible Tweets were problematic.” Senator Manchin later died choking on his words. Vice President Cruz died onboard a plane when his wife beat him to death for a perceived slight made years earlier. Their flight to Cancun turned around for the funeral. Mr. Paul, a physician, died of an overdose of injected sunlight and bleach.

Death followed political affiliations and geographic voting patterns. The United States seemed to die from the inside out, beginning with the farmland and “true Americans” living away from the coasts. These mostly unvaccinated humans grew much of the food for the remaining American humans, and when they died, food became scarce. Coastal cities began rationing, and then, armed with righteous indignation and bibles, those remaining inland humans, self-titled “patriots,” shot and killed most of the coastal dwellers in a purge so fast there was neither resistance nor anyone remaining to call it a civil war. No charges were filed against anyone. Indeed, many of the killers were active military, law enforcement, or hunters dressed in camouflage to blend in with the steel and glass of downtown cities.

However, this purge was short-lived as the food supply dwindled and the virus ran unchallenged. Church services increased, eventually being mandated by Speaker Trump, who famously held up a bible (upside down) in front of a Taco Bell in West Palm Beach this past December. Evangelicals were on hand to wipe his mouth of drool and ketchup, genuflecting and chanting while supplicating themselves to the rotund man with the kelp-like hair. Mr. Trump died later that month trying to cough up a chicken wing. All three (recognized) Trump children, Eric, Don Jr., and Ivanka, were buried (alive) with Mr. Trump. Don Jr. was tied to his father’s corpse on his left side, Eric on his right side, and according to Mr. Trump’s wishes, Ivanka on top. Melania Trump was not in attendance for the funeral and was last seen running in Manolo heals out of the city wearing her “I really don’t care, do u?” jacket.

The remaining survivors died quickly after that, either through gunshots or the virus. The remaining portions of the world promptly claimed global dominance, primarily China. However, either through official public malpractice (or willful ignorance), mask and vaccine intransigence among portions of the populace, or geographic remoteness, the population of humans failed. Mr. Chase’s passing marks the end of all humans.

Reaction among the remaining mammals was met with applause and marked trepidation. Humans leave a rapidly warming planet through their inaction on climate change (and partially due to their arrogance and hubris). This intrepid dolphin is eager to explore areas of the ocean previously too cold (or dry) to inhabit. However, this enthusiasm is tempered by the ecological food chain collapse rising temperatures have set off. It is too early to tell whether the planet will survive.

This is a developing story. Check back later for further updates.

One Thing

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One thing. Name one thing great about America? One thing? Name one thing we all agree is great about America. I’ll wait.

I went to the grocery store again. And, again, over 90% of people were not wearing masks. Why? Because we got bored, we’re selfish, and we all know better. Except boredom is not an excuse, narcissism is ignorance, and we don’t know better. Madison Cawthorn, the moronic Ken doll in a wheelchair from North Carolina, said as soon as the Republicans regain control of Congress, he’ll bring Dr. Fauci up on charges. Republicans aren’t bored; they’re ignorant, dangerous, and vindictive—freedom at any cost, including the labored death of 700,000 Americans.

One thing. I’m still waiting.

There are parts of the world dying for the vaccine. And yet we have 70 million self-appointed physicians in America who have decided, based on their evidence-based research, that COVID-19 is a hoax, the vaccine makes you magnetic, contains a microchip, and is part of a globalist control program. The virus is ravaging parts of Africa. Our federal government is sending millions of doses of the vaccine across the globe because our citizens are too stupid to help themselves.

Do you know what Americans send to Africa? Bibles. Do you know what corporate America sees Africa as? A market. The problem is Africans can’t afford to buy anything we want to sell them. Do you know what China thinks of Africa? They think of them as resource-rich partners. All our cell phones, televisions, talking refrigerators, and sentient washing machines require minerals and raw materials found in Africa. Guess where all these products America craves are made? China. China buys the resources from Africa. With money. China gives cash to Africa. Not bibles. The people of Africa can purchase food with cash. They can’t eat bibles.

The asshole carrying his boom-boom stick AR-15 in Starbucks is the “good guy with a gun,” he’ll tell us. Except there’s no flashing purple light over his head or a vaccine card to verify it for those of us who just see a weapon of war in a coffee shop. It’s the same with masks. Maybe everyone in the grocery store is double vaccinated and has qualified for the booster. But there’s no flashing purple light over their head. I don’t trust you. Sorry. I wear a mask to protect those too stupid to believe in science and their fellow neighbors and family members. And for those under 12 unable to be vaccinated yet. And for those with compromised immune systems leaving them vulnerable. You’re not because why? Oh, you know better? No. You don’t care.

What constitutes American exceptionalism? Still waiting. Oh, I know what they’ll say. “If it’s so bad, why don’t you leave? America is the home of the free because of the brave!” Fuck you. If people like me leave, that only lowers the national IQ and it’s already hovering dangerously close to the floor. So, no, I’m not going.

And stop taxing your tiny brains. There is no one great thing about America. American exceptionalism is a fantasy broadcast by the right and the ignorant to cover up an infantile worldview and those with an absolute abdication of responsibility. American exceptionalism isn’t a reality. It’s a goal. But goals cannot be achieved if the lowest common denominators make policy in the absence of fact, truth, and understanding and in the presence of fantasy, jingoism, and malice.

One thing. Couldn’t do it.

Freedom…

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The First Amendment to the United States Constitution reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution reads:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Can someone, perhaps a Constitutional scholar (or someone who attended the University of Hard Knocks because, apparently, that’s the same thing), explain to me how these “rights” as written by James Monroe came to be interpreted as freedom from responsibility? Please?

Reeling from a global pandemic, science handed us a way out. And it was made free and accessible to everyone! And yet, after sitting on our asses for a year, we cannot be bothered to get vaccinated. We can’t be bothered to do what is right for our family, our neighbors, our nation, the world. Because FREEDOM! But freedom from what? Can someone answer that question? What’s the end of that phrase? Freedom from what? 

I see yard signs now saying UNMASK OUR CHILDREN! Unmask? Oh, you mean to leave the decision to protect your child, my family, and everyone too stupid to vaccinate themselves to you and your internet search medical degree?

I still wear a mask inside stores. Do you know why? I’m vaccinated! The CDC says I no longer need to wear a mask indoors. I wear the mask indoors for two reasons. First, because the vaccine has provided cover for those too selfish to vaccinate themselves; in other words, those unvaccinated can claim to be vaccinated and therefore no longer need to wear a mask indoors. I wear a mask indoors with those I do not know because I do not trust them. Their freedom from responsibility leaves them vulnerable to the virus and a prime candidate to join 600,000 other dead Americans. And, honestly, I’m done worrying about their lives. If they’re too selfish and cloaked in the wisdom granted by the Fox News science and medical experts Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and Sean Hannity, I don’t care if they live or die. Just as they have rid themselves of caring whether I live or die. Second, I wear the mask because I could be carrying the virus and be asymptomatic due to the vaccine. Despite my anger at the unvaccinated, I wear it to protect them from me.

 Freedom from responsibility has replaced both the first and second Amendments. We have the freedom to say and do anything we want, but we now assume it was granted without responsibility. No blowback is expected or appreciated. We have been locked indoors for a year. And when finally bored enough, we ventured out. Some of us were vaccinated. But the bored move about freely. And as soon as we ventured out of our homes, we did so, not with the vaccine, but with our guns. Free to leave our homes, Americans are now subjected to multiple mass shootings a day. Because Freedom! But, again, no one finishes that phrase. Freedom from what, if not responsibility?

I weigh too much. Guess what? It’s because I overeat. Not because of my boss, my spouse, my government, or my family. And guess what? When I take responsibility for my weight and eat better foods and less of it, I lose weight! If I eat red meat, there is a chance my heart will suffer, or my cells may rebel in cancer. The danger I am subjecting others to is limited. My family will suffer my loss. But my job will be filled within a week, and the world will carry on. However, not vaccinating myself leaves me vulnerable, along with everyone with whom I come in contact. The danger is expanded exponentially—the exposed beyond just me. And to do that to others is selfish and devoid of responsibility. 

The irony of this situation is that those refusing to be vaccinated directly infringe on my freedoms! I may soon be required to wear a mask everywhere again because the unvaccinated will drive us back into restrictions and lockdowns. I did the right thing for everyone, but I may soon be restricted from moving about freely because of the unvaccinated.

The first definition of socialism in the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines socialism as:

Any of the various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.

Can we agree that seatbelts are a socialistic response to automobile injuries and deaths? Can we agree that highways are a socialistic response to bad roads being too expensive for each of us to build alone? Can we agree that the military that the right fawns over and spends almost a trillion dollars on a year is a socialistic response to existential or dogmatic geopolitical threats? If so, can we not also agree that solutions to problems need to be made on a granular level exclusive of a nation’s political definition? Can we agree that it is possible and appropriate to have a socialistic response to a problem within a democratic republic? That perhaps reductio ad absurdum or ad hominem arguments against proper answers to issues are simpleminded, foolhardy, and just plain wrong?   

 My rights are being infringed as a vaccinated citizen both by those who will not vaccinate themselves and those who think a gun gives them power and absolution. Freedom from responsibility is now the American creed. 

The Dragon in the Garage

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Marjorie Taylor Greene (GQP, GA-14) recently tweeted, “Vaccinated employees get a vaccination logo just like the Nazi’s forced Jewish people to wear a gold star. 

Vaccine passports & mask mandates create discrimination against unvaxxed people who trust their immune systems to a virus that is 99% survivable.”

Retweeted by Greene was a post from David Brody, who wrote, “People have the freedom to NOT get vaccinated if they don’t feel comfortable with it. Those that ARE vaccinated shouldn’t shame the unvaccinated. We have enough division. The last thing America needs is separating citizens into two medical tiers with a reward/punish system!”

Antisemitism and disingenuous calls for unity aside, these tweets are idiotic for another reason. I will shame any individual not lining up to get the vaccine. Not only shame but judge and ostracize. 

I have my problems with doctors and our state of medicine. I think we are still in the dark ages, despite the “advances” we’ve made. We don’t know shit about the human body. And the thought (by some) that we are nearing a cure for cancer is beyond foolish. 

However, the vaccines developed by medicine and science to address the COVID-19 pandemic are as miraculous as I’m ever willing to admit. And we are not worthy of it.

According to Johns Hopkins, today (May 26, 2021), 3,488,625 people have died due to the virus. In the United States, that number is 591,179. And yet, despite overwhelming evidence that masks and social distancing help keep the virus from spreading, we got bored! Bored! Masks holding chins up, Republican politicians and right-wing media downplaying the risk, or simply the maskless citing their “freedom” over common sense and community concern allowed the virus to keep taking bites out of us like a shark on a whale carcass. 

I cannot shop in a grocery store (adorned with more lines and markers than an international airport tarmac) without feeling like a spawning salmon going upstream. I catch myself looking behind me on every aisle to ensure I’m going the correct way as an armada of uncaring shoppers approaches me.

1,735,215,327 vaccine doses have been administered worldwide (288,596,955 in the US), but Dr. Barstool next to me in the grocery store won’t get the vaccine because he does not know the long-term effects of the vaccine… Well, doctor, 591,179 people Americans know the long-term impact of dying from the virus. Sorry, they aren’t available to comment. The CDC currently reports a 0.0017% chance of death from an adverse reaction to the vaccine (resulting from voluntary reporting and before any analysis of death certificates or autopsy reports). The United States Navy, because the vaccine was approved using “Emergency Use Authorization” (you know, because of the pandemic), is now offering incentives for military personnel to get the vaccine. This is beyond outrageous. Have the vaccine fully approved and mandate vaccinations. Life is full of risk. This one is a no-brainer. It was simple before. Wear the damn mask. This is simpler. Get the damn shot.

And yet, the Democrats expect to negotiate in good faith with Trump’s party, to compromise on solutions, in short, to govern. And here is where the Democrats bring a pillow to a gunfight. Republicans no longer exist. Although I suspect they’d be fine with Democrats bringing a My Pillow to the gunfight, because, as we know, Mike Lindell has all of the answers. They have been corrupted to the point of extinction by Trump and his acolytes. Ipsos presented the results of their recent survey, which showed that today (again, May 26, 2021), 53% of Republicans believe Trump is the actual president. How, in the name of parliamentary debate, do you argue with a party that does not accept facts? 

John Adams wrote, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” He was obviously wrong. Today, the power within the Republican party lies with those that are grounded in neither fact, evidence, nor reason. Shakespeare’s three witches in Macbeth said, “Fair is foul, and foul is fair.” That’s the Republican party today. 

Trump’s Orwellian claim that “What you are seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening,” seems lifted directly from 1984 (“The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”)

And yet, 53% of Republicans believe Trump is president.

This week has seen an avalanche of improbable headlines:

  • Texas approved “constitutional carry,” where individuals do not need a license or training to carry a handgun. As if that’s not depressing enough, consider that Texas wasn’t first to that party. They are the 21st state to approve constitutional carry.
  • Voter suppression bills (read; racist voting obstacles) are being passed in red states faster than a Texan can quick draw in Target. Coupled with ongoing gerrymandering, this all but guarantees Republican wins in the midterms. Democrats want a fair fight, a fair election? I refer you back to Shakespeare’s three witches.
  • Republicans stand ready to kill a bipartisan commission to explore the origins and failings evidenced by our own eyes and ears of the January 6 insurrection, claiming it is political theater. Enough people have compared this proposed commission with the 18 congressional hearings on Benghazi for me to have to expand on here. Besides, they were just tourists, right Rep. Clyde?

There were many more batshit crazy headlines, but why give them all oxygen? And yet, in the end, I must still adhere to Carl Sagan’s analogy of the dragon in the garage. Sagan wrote, “Now, what’s the difference between an invisible, incorporeal, floating dragon who spits heatless fire and no dragon at all? If there’s no way to disprove my contention, no conceivable experiment that would count against it, what does it mean to say that my dragon exists?” In other words, the Maricopa audit of the 2020 election is simply putting the onus on the sane to disprove the lunacy put forth by the insane. 

And so, I’ll close with one final quote, this from “Darwin’s bulldog” T.H. Huxley, who wrote, “The great tragedy of Science – the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.” Republicans believe in beautiful bullshit. I’ll take the ugly truth.

Paper or Plastic?

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Quirky. That’s the first word that comes to mind. Or maybe genuine, if I really think about it. You were always the one who started the conversation when “paper or plastic” was an option. I never knew your name, only your face. Gifted at polite conversation with each guest while the cashier rang up each item, streaming products toward you for bagging. I last saw you last month. You were wearing your mask, of course, and I could tell, in your eyes, you were smiling. You made the day better.

When I entered the store that day, I was anything but happy. I saw a woman in a puffy orange coat in the first aisle, not wearing a mask. Assuming it was an honest oversight, I politely reminded her she had forgotten it. She looked at me and said she hadn’t forgotten it, and she was “all set.” Not at all surprised, given the “politicization of mask-wearing” but disgusted by her response, I said, “Fuck you,” and turned toward the next aisle, adding, “Asshole,” as I turned. Tired of being one of the few to follow the rules, you know, adhering to the arrows at the beginning and end of each aisle, and always wearing a mask, I stopped at the front of the store and asked a bored cashier if masks were mandatory. She said, “Mandatory? I’m not sure, let me ask.” She talked to another woman at the front who came over to say that they were mandatory and that when they saw someone without a mask, a manager would tell them to put one on. I told them a woman wearing a puffy orange coat in produce did not have a mask, thanked them, and continued shopping.

Unfortunately, throughout the store, while I dodged (mostly) elderly shoppers oblivious or defiant of the arrows on the floor, I saw the woman in the puffy orange coat shopping without her mask. So much for the manager managing!

But you made the day better with your hidden smile and pleasant conversation. We talked about the Patriots, the recent snowstorm, and how thin the paper bags were. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the woman in the puffy orange coat get in line, two customers behind me.

Today they buried you. A victim of COVID-19. But not really. Yes, the virus is listed on your death certificate, but ignorance and selfishness killed you. The woman in the puffy orange coat is probably still out there shopping without a mask, similar to how the drunk driver survives the accident that kills the family. I’m sorry. I’m angry. And I’m sad.

Bulletin from New Washington

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NEW WASHINGTON – Overnight bombing continued in New York City and San Francisco as Day 39 of President Trump’s ongoing purge of “blue” America continued. Following last month’s arrest and detention of former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, former Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, and former chairman of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, Congressman Adam Schiff, the president shows no sign of pausing the purge or “Red Whitewashing” as he calls it.

Similar to his coronavirus claims that “If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at,” no casualty reports were issued from within any engaged city. Instead, when asked this morning, the president said, “We’re doing very well. One attack helicopter had to make a hard landing following apparent engine trouble, an engine, by the way, that was manufactured in one of the previously, poorly run blue states. Other than that, we can’t manufacture bullets fast enough, despite my authorization of the Red Defense Production Act.”

He further stated, “the stock market is nearing an all-time high, and as of this morning, the LCF (Lives Conversion Factor) is hovering at a number never seen before.” Indeed, at the time of his briefing before OANN and Fox News, each red state death was trading at 6,973 blue state deaths, a high not seen since the opening days of Operation Golden Crimson. Current Pentagon projections estimate that several blue states will, like an overturning iceberg, flip to red within the coming year. If that timeline proves accurate, the president will be poised to win the postponed presidential election with an unprecedented sweep of the revamped Electoral College. This will all but ensure his nomination for a third term even before the New Senate takes up the controversial White House proposal to rename the president’s recognized title from “Mr. President” to “Your High, Golden Wonderfulness.” Another White House proposal remains in limbo, moving the White House to Mar a Lago (New Washington), relocating the Capital to the Russian Embassy, and removing the bald eagle as the national bird in favor of a KFC drumstick.

When asked for comment on the status of the latter proposal, newly appointed Supreme Court Ted Cruz said, “I don’t believe there is any reason… not to allow the proposal to go through. With the other Justices removed… I, as the Supreme Court… whole-heartedly agree with His High, Golden Wonderfulness.”

Similarly, Senate Tsar Lindsey Graham seemed to flip flop on his initial reservations regarding the bald eagle’s removal following a round of presidential golf on Tuesday. Golfing included a KFC luncheon held on the 7th green and a presidential nap on the 13th green. The presidential siesta came complete with My Pillow pillows emblazoned with the new presidential seal (Two crossed drumsticks, one holding a nuclear missile and the other holding a gravy soaked biscuit).

Across town at the Ministry of Truth, Tsar Marco Rubio quoted an unrelated Bible verse when asked about recent, underground science and facts regarding coronavirus death’s topping 1 million. To clarify, he stated, “Jesus wasn’t taught calculus or medicine, and he is the white man we most seek to emulate. Other than His High, Golden Wonderfulness. Amen and pass the mashed potatoes.” Rubio, whose petition to change his last name to Ruby, per Operation Golden Crimson guidelines, saw his case move closer to Supreme Court Cruz (whose own petition to change his name to Oswald is pending presidential approval). When inadvertently pushed to expand on his remarks by Fox News reporter John Roberts (whose disappearance following the news conference was deemed coincidental to his line of questioning, Rubio replied, “Take him, dear Lord, take him.” It was not lost on this reporter that Rubio’s top security man is named Deerloard.

No living Democrats could be located for comment, and no Republicans could locate their vertebral column.