Category: children

Tick, Tock, Glock

~ thoughtsatlarge ~ 2 Comments

Enough

According to the Brady Campaign, on average, for the five most recently available years for which statistics are available, every day in America there are:

291 people in America are shot (including 52 children (ages 0-19)

87 people die from gun violence:

32 are murdered (including 6 children)

51 kill themselves (including 2 children)

2 die unintentionally

1 is killed by police intervention

1, intent unknown

205 are shot and survive:

148 shot in an assault (including 34 children)

10 survive a suicide attempt (including 1 child)

45 are shot unintentionally (including 9 children)

2 are shot in a police intervention

 If we take these numbers and divide them equally over the course of a day, this is an average day in America:

 

Time               Event

12:00 AM       1st Shooting by Police intervention, person survives

12:10 AM       1st Assault Shooting, person survives

12:20 AM       2nd Assault Shooting, person survives

12:28 AM       1st Suicide Death with a gun

12:30 AM       3rd Assault Shooting, person survives

12:32 AM       1st Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

12:40 AM       4th Assault Shooting, 1st Child, survives

12:45 AM       1st Murder with a gun

12:50 AM       5th Assault Shooting, person survives

12:56 AM       2nd Suicide Death with a gun

1:00 AM         6th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:04 AM         2nd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

1:10 AM         7th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:20 AM         8th Assault Shooting, 2nd Child, survives

1:24 AM         3rd Suicide Death with a gun

1:30 AM         2nd Murder with a gun; 9th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:36 AM         3rd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

1:40 AM         10th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:50 AM         11th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:52 AM         4th Suicide Death with a gun

2:00 AM         12th Assault Shooting, 3rd Child, survives

2:08 AM         4th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

2:10 AM         13th Assault Shooting, person survives

2:15 AM         3rd Murder with a gun

2:20 AM         5th Suicide Death with a gun; 14th Assault Shooting, person survives

2:24 AM         1st Suicide Attempt with a gun

2:30 AM         15th Assault Shooting, person survives

2:40 AM         5th Accidental Shooting Injury, 1st Child, survives; 16th Assault Shooting, 4th Child, survives

2:48 AM         6th Suicide Death with a gun

2:50 AM         17th Assault Shooting, person survives

3:00 AM         4th Murder with a gun; 18th Assault Shooting, person survives

3:10 AM         19th Assault Shooting, person survives

3:12 AM         6th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

3:16 AM         7th Suicide Death with a gun

3:20 AM         20th Assault Shooting, 5th Child, survives

3:30 AM         21st Assault Shooting, person survives

3:40 AM         22nd Assault Shooting, person survives

3:44 AM         8th Suicide Death with a gun; 7th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

3:45 AM         5th Murder with a gun

3:50 AM         23rd Assault Shooting, person survives

4:00 AM         24th Assault Shooting, 6th Child, survives

4:10 AM         25th Assault Shooting, person survives

4:12 AM         9th Suicide Death with a  gun

4:16 AM         8th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

4:20 AM         26th Assault Shooting, person survives

4:30 AM         6th Murder with a gun, 1st Child; 27th Assault Shooting, person survives

4:40 AM         10th Suicide Death with a gun; 28th Assault Shooting, 7th Child, survives

4:48 AM         2nd Suicide Attempt with a gun; 9th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

4:50 AM         29th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:00 AM         30th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:08 AM         11th Suicide Death with a gun

5:10 AM         31st Assault Shooting, person survives

5:15 AM         7th Murder with a gun

5:20 AM         10th Accidental Shooting Injury, 2nd Child, survives; 32nd Assault Shooting, 8th Child, survives

5:30 AM         33rd Assault Shooting, person survives

5:36 AM         12th Suicide Death with a gun

5:40 AM         34th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:50 AM         35th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:52 AM         11th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

6:00 AM         8th Murder with a gun; 36th Assault Shooting, 9th Child, survives

6:01 AM         37th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:04 AM         13th Suicide Death with a gun

6:10 AM         38th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:20 AM         39th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:24 AM         12th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

6:30 AM         40th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:32 AM         14th Suicide Death with a gun

6:40 AM         41st Assault Shooting, 10th Child, survives

6:45 AM         9th Murder with a gun

6:50 AM         42nd Assault Shooting, person survives

6:56 AM         13th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

7:00 AM         15th Suicide Death with a gun; 43rd Assault Shooting, person survives

7:10 AM         44th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:12 AM         3rd Suicide Attempt with a gun

7:20 AM         45th Assault Shooting, 11th Child, survives

7:28 AM         16th Suicide Death with a gun; 14th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

7:30 AM         10th Murder with a gun; 46th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:40 AM         47th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:50 AM         48th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:56 AM         17th Suicide Death with a gun

8:00 AM         15th Accidental Shooting Injury, 3rd Child, survives; 49th Assault Shooting, 12th Child, survives

8:10 AM         50th Assault Shooting, person survives

8:15 AM         11th Murder with a gun, 2nd Child

8:20 AM         51st Assault Shooting, person survives

8:24 AM         18th Suicide Death with a gun

8:30 AM         52nd Assault Shooting, person survives

8:32 AM         16th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

8:40 AM         53rd Assault Shooting, 13th Child, survives

8:50 AM         54th Assault Shooting, person survives

8:52 AM         19th Suicide Death with a gun

9:00 AM         12th Murder with a gun; 55th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:04 AM         17th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

9:10 AM         56th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:20 AM         20th Suicide Death with a gun; 57th Assault Shooting, 14th Child, survives

9:30 AM         58th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:36 AM         4th Suicide Attempt with a gun; 18th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

9:40 AM         59th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:45 AM         13th Murder with a gun

9:48 AM         21st Suicide Death with a gun

9:50 AM         60th Assault Shooting, person survives

10:00 AM       61st Assault Shooting, 15th Child, survives

10:08 AM       19th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

10:10 AM       62nd Assault Shooting, person survives

10:16 AM       22nd Suicide Death with a gun

10:20 AM       63rd Assault Shooting, person survives

10:30 AM       14th Murder with a gun; 64th Assault Shooting, person survives

10:40 AM       20th Accidental Shooting Injury, 4th Child, survives; 65th Assault Shooting, 16th Child, survives

10:44 AM       23rd Suicide Death with a gun

10:50 AM       66th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:00 AM       67th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:10 AM       68th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:12 AM       24th Suicide Death with a gun; 21st Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

11:15 AM       15th Murder with a gun

11:20 AM       69th Assault Shooting, 17th Child, survives

11:30 AM       70th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:40 AM       25th Suicide Death with a gun, 1st Child; 71st Assault Shooting, person survives

11:44 AM       22nd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

11:50 AM       72nd Assault Shooting, person survives

11:59 AM       147th Assault Shooting, person survives

12:00 PM       16th Murder with a gun, 3rd Child; 1st Accidental Shooting Death; 1st Death by Police intervention; 1st Death, intent unknown; 73rd Assault Shooting, 18th Child, survives; 5th Suicide Attempt with a gun, 1st Child; 2nd Shooting by Police intervention, survives

12:01 PM       74th Assault Shooting, person survives

12:08 PM       26th Suicide Death with a gun

12:10 PM       75th Assault Shooting, person survives

12:16 PM       23rd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

12:20 PM       76th Assault Shooting, person survives

12:30 PM       77th Assault Shooting, person survives

12:36 PM       27th Suicide Death with a gun

12:40 PM       78th Assault Shooting, 19th Child, survives

12:45 PM       17th Murder with a gun

12:48 PM       24th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

12:50 PM       79th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:00 PM         80th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:04 PM         28th Suicide Death with a gun

1:10 PM         81st Assault Shooting, person survives

1:20 PM         25th Accidental Shooting Injury, 5th Child, survives; 82nd Assault Shooting, 20th Child, survives

1:30 PM         18th Murder with a gun; 83rd Assault Shooting, person survives

1:32 PM         29th Suicide Death with a gun

1:40 PM         84th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:50 PM         85th Assault Shooting, person survives

1:52 PM         26th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

2:00 PM         30th Suicide Death with a gun; 86th Assault Shooting, 21st Child, survives

2:10 PM         87th Assault Shooting, person survives

2:15 PM         19th Murder with a gun

2:20 PM         88th Assault Shooting, person survives

2:24 PM         6th Suicide Attempt with a gun; 27th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

2:28 PM         31st Suicide Death with a gun

2:30 PM         89th Assault Shooting, person survives

2:40 PM         90th Assault Shooting, 22nd Child, survives

2:50 PM         91st Assault Shooting, person survives

2:56 PM         32nd Suicide Death with a gun; 28th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

3:00 PM         20th Murder with a gun; 92nd Assault Shooting, person survives

3:10 PM         93rd Assault Shooting, person survives

3:20 PM         94th Assault Shooting, 23rd Child, survives

3:24 PM         33rd Suicide Death with a gun

3:28 PM         29th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

3:30 PM         95th Assault Shooting, person survives

3:40 PM         96th Assault Shooting, person survives

3:45 PM         21st Murder with a gun, 4th Child

3:50 PM         97th Assault Shooting, person survives

3:52 PM         34th Suicide Death with a gun

4:00 PM         30th Accidental Shooting Injury, 6th Child, survives; 98th Assault Shooting, 24th Child, survives

4:10 PM         99th Assault Shooting, person survives

4:20 PM         35th Suicide Death with a gun; 100th Assault Shooting, person survives

4:30 PM         22nd Murder with a gun; 101st Assault Shooting, person survives

4:32 PM         31st Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

4:40 PM         102nd Assault Shooting, 25th Child, survives

4:48 PM         36th Suicide Death with a gun; 7th Suicide Attempt with a gun

4:50 PM         103rd Assault Shooting, person survives

5:00 PM         104th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:04 PM         32nd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

5:10 PM         105th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:15 PM         23rd Murder with a gun

5:16 PM         37th Suicide Death with a gun

5:20 PM         106th Assault Shooting, 26th Child, survives

5:30 PM         107th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:36 PM         33rd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

5:40 PM         108th Assault Shooting, person survives

5:44 PM         38th Suicide Death with a gun

5:50 PM         109th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:00 PM         24th Murder with a gun; 110th Assault Shooting, 27th Child, survives

6:01 PM         111th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:08 PM         34th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

6:10 PM         112th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:12 PM         39th Suicide Death with a gun

6:20 PM         113th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:30 PM         114th Assault Shooting, person survives

6:40 PM         40th Suicide Death with a gun; 35th Accidental Shooting Injury, 7th Child, survives; 115th Assault Shooting, 28th Child, survives

6:45 PM         25th Murder with a gun

6:50 PM         116th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:00 PM         117th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:08 PM         41st Suicide Death with a gun

7:10 PM         118th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:12 PM         8th Suicide Attempt with a gun; 36th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

7:20 PM         119th Assault Shooting, 29th Child, survives

7:30 PM         26th Murder with a gun, 5th Child; 120th Assault Shooting, person survives

7:36 PM         42nd Suicide Death with a gun

7:40 PM         121st Assault Shooting, person survives

7:44 PM         37th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

7:50 PM         122nd Assault Shooting, person survives

8:00 PM         123rd Assault Shooting, 30th Child, survives

8:04 PM         43rd Suicide Death with a gun

8:10 PM         124th Assault Shooting, person survives

8:15 PM         27th Murder with a gun

8:16 PM         38th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

8:20 PM         125th Assault Shooting, person survives

8:30 PM         126th Assault Shooting, person survives

8:32 PM         44th Suicide Death with a gun

8:40 PM         127th Assault Shooting, 31st Child, survives

8:48 PM         39th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

8:50 PM         128th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:00 PM         28th Murder with  a gun; 45th Suicide Death with a gun; 129th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:10 PM         130th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:20 PM         40th Accidental Shooting Injury, 8th Child, survives; 131st Assault Shooting, 32nd Child, survives

9:28 PM         46th Suicide Death with a gun

9:30 PM         132nd Assault Shooting, person survives

9:36 PM         9th Suicide Attempt with a gun

9:40 PM         133rd Assault Shooting, person survives

9:45 PM         29th Murder with a gun

9:50 PM         134th Assault Shooting, person survives

9:52 PM         41st Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

9:56 PM         47th Suicide Death with a gun

10:00 PM       135th Assault Shooting, 33rd Child, survives

10:10 PM       136th Assault Shooting, person survives

10:20 PM       137th Assault Shooting, person survives

10:24 PM       48th Suicide Death with a gun; 42nd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

10:30 PM       30th Murder with a gun; 138th Assault Shooting, person survives

10:40 PM       139th Assault Shooting, 34th Child, survives

10:50 PM       140th Assault Shooting, person survives

10:52 PM       49th Suicide Death with a gun

10:56 PM       43rd Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

11:00 PM       141st Assault Shooting, person survives

11:10 PM       142nd Assault Shooting, person survives

11:15 PM       31st Murder with a gun, 6th Child

11:20 PM       50th Suicide Death with a gun; 143rd Assault Shooting, person survives

11:28 PM       44th Accidental Shooting Injury, person survives

11:30 PM       144th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:40 PM       145th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:48 PM       51st Suicide Death with a gun, 2nd Child

11:50 PM       146th Assault Shooting, person survives

11:59 PM       32nd Murder with a gun; 2nd Accidental Shooting Death; 10th Suicide Attempt with a gun; 45th Accidental Shooting Injury, 9th Child, survives; 148th Assault Shooting, person survives

Now repeat this, every day, until enough of us demand a better society.

The Class Ceiling

~ thoughtsatlarge ~ Leave a comment

On Sunday, June 9th, a 39 year old man was arrested following a 911 call from inside actress Sandra Bullock’s Los Angeles home. The man was arrested after having scaled a fence on her property and gaining access to her home via a back door while she was asleep upstairs. She was not injured in the intrusion. An investigation of the individual led to his being charged with 19 felony counts, including: seven counts of possession of a machine gun, 2 counts of possession of an illegal assault weapon and 10 counts of possession of a destructive device (tracer bullets), in addition to breaking and entering and trespassing.

As horrifying as this is, we, as Americans did not even bother with a collective shrug. We barely blinked when a gunman opened fire in Santa Barbara or when there was yet another school shooting in Oregon. We have become accustomed to both violence and guns. Too many of us are numb to it now. Couple that with the pervasive misogyny of the intertwined subcultures of men, guns and violence and you begin to see the framework upon which our society is now built and upon which some of our elected officials feed.

Ms. Bullock was in Los Angeles to accept an award. Nothing surprising there! Actors and actresses have an entire season dedicated to celebrating their celebrity. However, this award speaks to the subculture we’re discussing. Spike TV holds a Guy’s Choice Awards show every year. Ms. Bullock was there to accept their “Decade of Hotness” award. Now, whether or not Ms. Bullock is a talented actor is best left to individual taste (however her box office receipts and salary per movie indicate that she is worth the investment), but must we award “hotness”? How, in 2014, am I supposed to look at my daughter and tell her not to be too concerned with her looks, that we celebrate intellect and passion above appearance? She would laugh until she cried. And then she would shatter every mirror in our house. We need only look at the tabloids at the checkout line to see the focus of our shallow society. From “Best Bikini Bods” to “Guess who went under the plastic surgeon’s knife?” to the latest drivel from all the celebrated-beyond-reason Kardashians, we idolize celebrity, but only pretty celebrities.

On June 10, 1963, President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act of 1963 as an amendment to the 1938 Fair Labor Standards Act. Specifically, it states that:

No employer having employees subject to any provisions of this section shall discriminate, within any establishment in which such employees are employed, between employees on the basis of sex by paying wages to employees in such establishment at a rate less than the rate at which he pays wages to employees of the opposite sex in such establishment for equal work on jobs the performance of which requires equal skill, effort, and responsibility, and which are performed under similar working conditions…

However, according to a study of The White House’s National Equal Pay Task Force, in spite of the fact that women play a major role in the economic engine of America (as compared to 1963) and the fact that women now earn more advanced degrees in America than men, women had only closed the gender wage gap from 61 cents for every dollar earned by men in 1963 to 77 cents for every dollar earned by men in 2011, the latest year for which data is available. While undoubtedly a significant gain, one would think that a law passed in 1963 would have completely eradicated the difference by now.

It wasn’t until 1984 that the term “glass ceiling” was first used by former Family Circle Editor Gay Bryant, and that was used to describe the competition between women in reaching the highest levels of business. She is quoted as saying, “Women have reached a certain point – I call it the glass ceiling. They’re in the top of middle management and they’re stopping and getting stuck.”  This definition of the glass ceiling would seem to mesh with the findings of the Council of Graduate Schools study where the majority of advanced degrees were obtained by women (59.5% of master’s degrees and 52.2% of doctoral degrees).

However, it is still a man’s world. From the media’s “sex sells” focus on female images Photoshopped beyond human anatomical limits to the overt compensation of men’s 3-story pickup trucks and need to openly carry AR-15’s and AK-47’s in Target and Home Depot, the male psyche is being beaten educationally and logically by women and has resorted to beating the female image with the only objects left to their stunted minds, guns and misogyny. Essentially, rather than dragging the woman to their cave by their hair, they subjugate her by obliquely beating her with the blunt object between their legs through anthropomorphic means in the form of a firearm. What a shame.

If only men saw women as equals and sought their advice on the important social issues of our time, perhaps we would find a partner instead of a punching bag. As President Kennedy said repeatedly, beginning in 1959, “a rising tide lifts all boats.” Instead, members of Open Carry Texas have resorted to calling members of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, “thugs with jugs” and have a one minute free for all where they open fire on a female mannequin. Guns get bigger, but, we’re told,”they’re only used for hunting,” as if we are supposed to believe that deer, birds and rabbits have gotten exponentially larger and evolution has furnished them with Kevlar skin.

We’ve become little boys with big toys (or more accurately, big boys with little minds and big guns). Am I expected to teach this to my daughter? Am I expected to treat my wife this way? Am I expected to subjugate my mother like this? And what does any of this teach my son? You may call me less than a man or a wimp or a feminist, but I’d rather open my arms and use my intelligence than open my legs and show my ignorance.

(If you’re interested in a little mental exercise, read this post. I was writing it in 2012 as news broke from Newtown, Connecticut of a shooting at an elementary school.)

My Confession

~ thoughtsatlarge ~ Leave a comment

I have a confession to make. It’s not one I’m proud of, especially given my small participation in trying to reduce gun violence in America. On May 23rd, in Santa Barbara, a gunman killed six people and then himself on a college campus. On June 5th, in Seattle, a gunman killed one person on a college campus. On June 8th, in Las Vegas, a couple killed three people, including two police officers and then themselves. And yesterday, in Troutdale, Oregon, a student killed another student and then himself. Oh, and on June 3rd, in New Brunswick, Canada, a gunman killed three police officers. Nineteen days have passed since the murders in Santa Barbara. Eighteen people died in those 5 incidents.

According to the Brady Campaign, on average, 86 people are killed by gun violence in America every day (33 are murdered and another 50 kill themselves). Every day another 205 are shot and survive (including 148 shot during an assault, 10 suicide attempts and 45 “accidents”). To annualize those numbers is to understand the magnitude of our psychosis. 31,346 people are killed due to gun violence every year. Another 74,835 are injured, but survive. That amounts to over 100,000 Americans victims of gun violence every year.

In the 543 days since 20 six- and seven-year olds were murdered along with six of their teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012, there have been 74 school shootings. Seventy four! If the chart below of school shootings doesn’t scare the bejeezus out of you, you have liquid nitrogen running through your veins.

Yesterday, President Obama said, “The country has to do some soul searching about this. This is becoming the norm, and we take it for granted, in ways that as a parent are terrifying to me.” Ah, but all of these people must be crazy, whispered the 2A “patriots.” To wit, the president said, “The United States does not have a monopoly on crazy people.”

The United States has a gun homicide rate 20 times higher than other developed countries. Surely, we are not to believe that we have 20 times more mentally troubled people than these other developed countries. Their reply, “It’s the person not the gun. A gun is an inanimate object. If it weren’t for the gun, they would find another method.” To wit, I would refer you to author Steven King’s response in his book Guns:

 “I read a jaw-dropping online defense of these weapons from a California woman recently. Guns, she said, are just tools. Like spoons, she said. Would you outlaw spoons simply because some people use them to eat too much? Lady, let’s see you try to kill twenty school kids with a fucking spoon.”

There are over 300,000,000 guns in America. If having a gun made people safer, America would be the safest country on the planet. We’re not. Not even close.

The White House tweeted the following comment from the president yesterday:

So, my question to you is this: What will it take? The slaughter of 20 school children didn’t do it. Eighty six deaths and 205 injuries a day hasn’t done it.  Seriously, what will it take for us to say, “Enough”?  Is there a number? Is there a victim? Are we content with this and numb to the stories? Have we swallowed the “good guy” line from the NRA and now consider these deaths and injuries collateral damage and friendly fire in order for us to “exercise” our “God given” Second Amendment right? Or are we ready to insist on change? Will we demand a better, safer future for our children? As one of the millions who work every day to bring about change I believe we deserve, I hope so, because here is my confession: I have muddled the most recent shootings. I can’t keep them straight in my head. I feel horrible for the victims, family members and friends of the victims, because they deserve to be remembered. I just can’t keep them straight anymore. I demand better of myself and my country. What about you?

Mother’s Day

~ thoughtsatlarge ~ Leave a comment

Mothers Day

 

In honor of my mother, my wife, my sister and all of the mama bears of Moms Demand Action, here are a few quotes on mothers. In short, thank you.

 

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

Washington Irving

 

 “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”

Mitch Albom, For One More Day

 

 “Perhaps it takes courage to raise children..”

John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 

 “He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark.”

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

 

“My mother is a poem that I could never write”

Unknown

 

“Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it cannot be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues — faith and hope.”

Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby

 

“My mother said the cure for thinking too much about yourself was helping somebody who was worse off than you.”

Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

 

“If I were asked to define Motherhood, I would have defined it as Love in its purest form. Unconditional Love.”

Revathi Sankaran

 

“Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood – finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without.”

Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match

 

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

Milton Berle

 

“Having kids — the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings — is the biggest job anyone can embark on”

Maria Shriver

 

“The phrase “working mother” is redundant.”

Jane Sellman

 

“With children the clock is reset. We forget what came before”

Jhumpa Lahiri, The Lowland

 

“My most important title is still “mom-in-chief.” My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the center of my world.”

Michelle Obama

 

“I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars.”

E.M. Forster, Howards End

 

“A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.”

Victor Hugo

 

 

A Conversation With My Daughter

~ thoughtsatlarge ~ 1 Comment

feminist

 

“Taught from their infancy that beauty is woman’s sceptre, the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage, only seeks to adorn its prison.”

Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman

I am lucky. As a heterosexual, white, American man, I found, out of the millions of available women, the best. Does that sound right? “I,” “I found,” “I am lucky.” Let me try to rephrase that. A strong, compassionate, brilliant woman, a woman with talent and brains and limited tolerance for fools, a woman destined to positively impact the lives of countless people, chose me. Better. Although I was right, I was/am lucky.

I had the most incredible conversation with my 19 year old daughter last night. It was a text message conversation, but, in many ways, the technology was not a barrier to thought or feelings, but an aid. Perhaps it is the inherent delay in responding or the necessity to distill thoughts into typed words. Whatever the cause, the effect was blinding, pure logic bathed in compassion. The subject: Feminism.

Again, I’m a guy. But that does not preclude me from discussing or even embracing feminism. Ultimately, feminism is one wavelength within the light spectrum of equality.

Plato wrote in The Republic,“If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.” That was in 380 B.C.

On October 9, 2012, Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head by the Taliban on her school bus for having the audacity to think, “Let us pick up our books and our pens,” I said. “They are our most powerful weapons. One child, one teacher, one book and one pen can change the world.” (I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban)

Clearly, in 2,392 years we have done little to evolve as humans. Why do some (males and females) see feminists as the enemy? Why have some vilified them as militant, anti-men?

To help answer this question, I need to back up to a 30,000 foot view of “civilized society.” My daughter is an artist, and the best kind. She is infused with talent, an incredible work ethic blended with a strong desire to learn and stirred by passion; truly a recipe for greatness, both as an artist and as a compassionate human. As we chatted last night we wandered into a metaphor that, I think carries some veracity. The idea that while seeing all issues in pure black and white is easy (read: requires little or no thought), it is boring and excludes the rainbow of colors that make life (and art) joyful. Seeing (or rather acknowledging) the gray in an issue requires us to pause and consider differing opinions, perspectives and, potentially, shaking the ledge upon which we base our morals. It is neither comfortable nor easy, but it is necessary and should be required! Somewhere along the line, Descartes argument cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am) has been bludgeoned into “I am, therefore I need not think.” How sad.

Feminism is not the charge of a select group of women but rather the obligation of all rational thinkers, therefore, all of humankind. Where it is the weak minded and threatened man who disdains feminists, so too is it the weak minded and male-oriented, society-molded female who defends organized subjugation. To subjugate one is to imprison all. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, “”No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Our willing abdication of thought may inevitably lead to an Orwellian future of newspeak, doublethink, thoughtcrimes and perpetual war. How far down this road are we already? Who wants to drive?

I am proud of my daughter. She is strong-willed, passionate and compassionate, thinks for herself and wants to make the world a better place. If that is the definition of a feminist, sign me up.

A Champion for Change

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Champions of Change

The White House website has a section devoted to recognizing ordinary Americans for the tireless efforts they spend moving America forward.  President Obama’s declaration of American “exceptionalism” offended the rest of the world and rang hollow to Americans beleaguered by a societal abdication of responsibility, a systemic idolization of celebrity, an education system “wrestling” to merge science with religion, a federal legislative body paralyzed by intransigence and hatred and a country awash in daily gun violence.

The site recently asked for nominations for White House Champion of Change for Gun Violence Prevention. Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America founder Shannon Watts was my choice and I, along with many others, nominated her. Here is my rationale:

No single person has harnessed the overwhelming passion Americans have to prevent gun violence since Sarah Brady. Born out of anger and disbelief after the senseless murder of twenty school children and 6 educators at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012, Ms. Watts formed a grassroots organization combining social media networking with passionate activism, targeting elected officials, businesses and the gun lobby while giving voice to thousands of mothers across America who see daily gun violence as a plague on the future for our children.

In little over one year, Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America has become the voice for compassionate Americans and a major target for the gun lobby. The recent partnership with Mayors Against Illegal Guns speaks to the clout earned by Moms Demand Action.

It is never a good idea to threaten a bear cub around its mother. Moms Demand Action continues to show what effect threatening America’s children with continued gun violence will have as over 125,000 mama bears in all 50 states unite. As a father, I applaud Ms. Watts for her determination, organization and vision and can think of no other individual more deserving of this recognition.

Albert Einstein said, “If I were to remain silent, I’d be guilty of complicity.” Whether she is selected or not, she is a champion for change and has created an organization whose passion and compassion will continue to be heard in the gun violence debate in 2014 and beyond.

Summertime Thoughts

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And now for a few thoughts:

I always wonder what my dog is thinking when he gets inside an elevator. We go into a small room, he looks out at the room we just left, watches the strange doors close and sees a completely different world when the strange doors open. What happened to the other world? What happened?

Is there anything better than a home grown tomato?

Nothing says summer better than hydrangeas in bloom.

In a perfect world, everything would smell like gardenias.

I love how time dissolves when I’m gardening.

Too bad I rarely get the chance.

Too bad it’s 150 degrees outside when I do get the chance.

Summer is going by too fast.

2013 is going by too fast.

My life is going by too fast. I still have a to-do list from when I was six that I can’t seem to get to.

I can’t think of anything so profound I would have to have it as a tattoo. And I can’t imagine any tattoo that isn’t an Oscar Wilde quote. Or George Orwell.

I love driving.

I hate other drivers.

I love to watch airplanes. I always wonder where they are going or from where they have come. What vacation stories are waiting to be discovered or retold. Take me with you.

I feel like my dog in an elevator when I fly. I go to the airport, sit in an aluminum tube for a few hours and exit into a totally different culture. Wonderful!

The older I get, the more I love my wife.

The older my children get, the more I love my wife.

The older my wife gets, the more I love life.

What’s next?

Jesus Shrugged

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Jesus Shrugged

Six months ago today a young man with a history of mental illness, knowing his mother owned a legally obtained arsenal, shot and killed her, took these weapons designed to obliterate human flesh and proceeded to an elementary school where he shot his way in, murdered six dedicated educators and blew the faces off of 20 terrified six year old children with between 3 and 11 bullets each.

The fact that words could ever be arranged in this order, in one run-on sentence, capable of painting a scene of horror beyond Hollywood’s imagination (or sense of propriety) should have shocked us. Neither Edgar Allan Poe nor Stephen King could (nor would) conjure up a story with this plot, so sick is the premise. And yet, this sentence describes America in the 21st century. Worse yet is the reaction we had. We did nothing. “Pray,” our politicians told us. Any other solution is a knee-jerk reaction, anti-American, unpatriotic and unconstitutional. We allowed the seeds to be planted years ago by the NRA (and others) which today have blossomed into the paralysis we see in Washington, the evisceration of existing law and the flooding of America with firepower and an absence of responsibility.

While neither Hank Reardon, Dagney Taggert, Jim Taggert nor any other characters in Ayn Rand’s myopic, self-centered, Gold-is-the-new-God, dystopian, It’s-all-about-Me, fantasy have children, the rest of society seeks a balance between personal and societal advancement. Personal responsibility, the overriding theme of Atlas Shrugged, is rewarded in personal wealth. This shallow, simplistic idea only works in the abstract world of fiction. In reality, we are all part of an ant colony whose success or failure depends not only on our own participation and success, but on the participation and success of the other ants.

And in spite of this, the Tea Party (the new Republican party of Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio) seeks to add Atlas Shrugged as the new, New Testament. The King Ted version of the Bible. Jesus Shrugged. God, guns and screw everybody else. I’ve got mine, you get yours. You’re on your own. Come and take it. Molon Labe.

181 days have passed since the (still incomprehensible) horror took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Spineless Republicans and Democrats in the Senate, afraid for their NRA rating (and the cash that accompanies it) and catering to the dullest, most simplistic but vociferous, absolutist, “patriotic” constituents, snubbed every attempt to clutch rationality from the jaws of paranoia and closeted racism, lied about imaginary gun registries, drove up gun sales with inflammatory rhetoric, ignored tear-stained relatives, friends or victims of gun violence declared “victory” for the Second Amendment and chuckled as “King Obama” lost. It is if any battle is worth political annihilation of the republic as long as this president loses, topic (or victims) be damned. How very patriotic.

Gun ownership in this country is down to less than one-third of households and yet gun sales continue to climb. If fewer people own guns, but guns continue to sell, it can only be surmised that the same people are buying more guns, which begs the question, how many guns can one shoot at once? It seems to me that the NRA needs to team up with doctors to develop an accelerated evolutionary path for these “patriots” so they can grow additional index fingers with which to pull triggers. Anything less is unconstitutional and against their God-given right as guaranteed under the Second Amendment and conferred upon them in the new, new testament.

America’s best days are ahead of it, but only if we stop trying to live in the past.

Six months with no action. Shame on Congress, shame on us.

GUEST POST: Modernity, Maternity and God

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aa graphicAllāhu Akbar!

The phrase literally means, “Allah is greater”, but can be generalized to mean “God is Greater”. As a call to action, it is a consistent part of daily Muslim prayers.

When talking to CNN, Zubeidat Tsarnaeva had this to say about her sons’ deaths: “My oldest one is killed, I don’t care. I don’t care if my youngest one is going to be killed today. I want the world to hear this. And I don’t care if I am to get killed too, okay? And I will say Allāhu Akbar!”

The public condemned this statement. How could a mother be so callous about her children’s lives? Is she even human? Is this not proof that Islam is a religion of pieces, rather than a religion of peace? (This stupid pun follows in the grand intellectual footsteps of “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”) My problem with these questions is not their sentiment, but the hypocrisy that their context reveals. The vaguely racist, forced connections from immigration to religion that underscore this discussion are violent, and ignorant. Religion is the ally of child sacrifice. The religious doctrines of Islam, Christianity, and Judaism all applaud child sacrifice.

Genesis, Chapter 22, beginning at Verse 1 (KJV): “And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am. And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah, and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” Aside from that fact that God is said to be tempting, and not testing, (which makes him something less than perfect or good), this incitement of murder is pointless and evil. God recognizes Abraham’s love for his son before demanding the child’s death. This immoral mockery is wholly undeserving of praise. Abraham asks no questions, and Isaac’s only concern seems to be that he can’t seem to find the animal of sacrifice. His father ties him to the altar. Isaac offers no protest. Abraham shows no reservation. The most chilling line of Genesis, save for the floods and violently wicked exultations and bursts of anger from a ‘perfectly just and merciful’ God, is verse ten of the same chapter. “And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.” God chooses this moment to put down the popcorn and intervene. After egotistically claiming that his only desire was to ensure the fear of his subjects, (I can feel Job wincing), God kindly releases Abraham from the devout act of killing his only child. Unrealistically, the son in question abstains from flipping the capricious deity the bird. The Quran takes the story even further, claiming that the boy’s hands, (almost definitely referring to Isaac), did not need to be bound and that he chose sacrifice willingly. This version of the story is more toxic. The idea of child sacrifice ought to be abhorrent to both parent and child, but the willing sacrifice of a child that goes undisputed by his parent is evil. To advocate this view is to champion inhuman cruelty and vilify familial loyalty.

Temptation, fear, and apathy define the God of Genesis. Orwell taught us the perverseness of being forced to love someone that you fear. Child sacrifice is evil. Those who condone it are immoral. The Christians who claim that Abraham’s faith in God was so great that he believed that his son would be brought back from death are being impossibly revisionist. I default to Christopher Hitchens for the final word on the subject.  Speaking about his children, he says: “If I was told to sacrifice them to prove my devotion to God, if I was told to do what all monotheists are told to do, and admire the man who said, ‘Yes, I’ll gut my kid to show my love of God’, I’d say, ‘No, fuck you.’”

The proud outrage of the religious at Zubeidat Tsarnaeva’s pitiless piety is hollow. Her insistence that her sons are innocent and not terrorists is made irrelevant by her defiant exultation of “Allāhu Akbar!” Her ideas are loyal to a vile principle present in all three major monotheisms. As a human being and an American, I’ve had enough of à la Carte religion and the baseless moral condescension of the faithful. Allāhu Akbar is an abdication of responsibility. The final reminders given to the 9/11 hijackers included “Shout ‘Allāhu Akbar’ because this strikes fear in the hearts of the non-believers”. The Iranian flag has the phrase “Allāhu Akbar” written on it twenty-two times. Maryam Mohammad Yousif Farhat screamed “Allāhu Akbar!” and handed out candy upon hearing that her son had killed five people as a suicide bomber. Nidal Malik Hasan screamed “Allāhu Akbar!” before opening fire at Fort Hood. This deadly idiocy is the battle cry of piety. Their love of God is just as dangerous as their fear of him. It empowers disembodied tyrants while cheapening the lives and intellects of human beings. No mother should value her faith above her sons. God is not greater than family. God is not greater than humanity.

Two Videos, a Picture and a Question

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Simple post today. Just two videos for you to view and think about and one picture for you to think about and answer.

Here is the first video:

How Many More Rounds?

If that didn’t move you, you have no pulse.

Here is the second:

Deja Vu

Now a question. How many more presidents, Republican or Democrat, will have to reorder those words and give the same speech with the same emotion and sincerity before we demand Congress does something? Before we demand that the “gun culture” in America is a failure that does not provide security to its citizens and that we embrace legislation similar to other industrialized nations who neither suffer our gun caused carnage nor understand our acceptance of it in the name of some bastardized definition of freedom? How long?

Now a picture for you to consider:

NRA Terrorist Organization

Discuss, debate, ruminate and then ACT. Now.